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Iain Duncan Smith has terminated all benefits for people residing in flooded neighbourhoods because he said they’re all scroungers. Evidently he announced that just because your residence and neighborhood are under water that’s no reason not to be making a contribution to society like millions of hard working tax payers up and down the country. Apparently he also noted that it had come to his attention that those in receipt of benefits and living in the worst hit neighborhoods for flooding are accountable for shockingly colossal proportions of workplace and job centre truancy, and this was unacceptable.

Take for instance a couple who receive working tax credit, but have clearly not put oneself out to attend work for a few days. When the benefits agency personnel called upon their supposed residence, there wasn’t even a Lobelia Avenue, much less a number 17. There was actually a somewhat pleasant lake that was for some logic girdled by layabouts doing nothing but splashing about in their Wellington boots in the middle of the day when they should be out grafting and striving, not malingering.

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Iain Duncan Smith went on to give a standing ovation to one aging man who was extensively highlighted in the media as he went about his job in Somerset. Duncan Smith stated that was the sort of drive this nation required, and that the man didn’t sit around complaining and asking for handouts, no, he got out, rolled his sleeves up. When it was pointed out to Duncan Smith that man was in fact Prince Charles, he did not have the respectability to look flustered and went on to insist that he could effortlessly live on £53 a week in a house that was underwater if he had to.

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